


The Lowest Point

by GrantOtters



Category: Deltarune
Genre: Angst, Death, Deltarune - Freeform, Ive been wanting to make a susie backstory for a lil but and finally got around to doing it, I’m love the chalk muncher, Neglect, Other, Starvation, confused and angry teen, im terrible at tags, sorry for your hurt feelings, this is self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-24 04:42:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16633151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrantOtters/pseuds/GrantOtters
Summary: Hey everyone!! This is pretty self indulgent, so I don’t really expect it to be the best.3,000+ words :)The ending is kinda... off? But my fingers hurt cut me some slack kiddos.





	The Lowest Point

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!! This is pretty self indulgent, so I don’t really expect it to be the best. 
> 
> 3,000+ words :)
> 
> The ending is kinda... off? But my fingers hurt cut me some slack kiddos.

Home.

Susie despised home.

It brought many painful memories along with it.

She used to not hate coming home every day. When she was still in elementary school she would fling open the door, almost knocking it off its hinges, and rush into the kitchen where her mother would be working on that afternoon's dinner. She had been a chubby thing back then. 

Her mother would laugh joyfully when she clung to her mother's apron with her chubby fingers, eyes wide with longing as she begged for a bite. Her father, a well-respected lumberjack, would swoop up behind her and scoop up his giggly child, before laying a kiss on his wife's cheek with a wide grin.

Now, however...this home brought no joy.  
Her mother had been diagnosed with lung cancer, and it wasn’t until her first day of middle school that she’d received news of her mother’s passing after years of battling it. She had run straight out of school, not caring for the worried cries of her teachers and peers. She sprinted down the sidewalk, nearly tripping over her own feet. The hospital wasn’t that far away since the town was abnormally small. She had rushed inside the hospital, tearing past the tense and cluttered hospital staff that looked at her in pity when she rushed into her mother's hospital room.

She saw her father hunched over the limp corpse, clutching his wife's hand. That was the first and last time she had ever seen her father cry. 

For the next few days, her father was excused from work. Susie didn’t think much of this since it was easy to see it as his work taking pity on the poor man. Susie was busy dealing with her own grief, the emotions twirling and becoming unsettled in the young pre-teenagers body. She often found herself locking herself inside her own bedroom She would sit on the floor, resting her back against the door and cry. Wet, fat tears she would shed. Susie quickly learned that she loathed crying. It made her feel funny- chest tight, throat sore, and eyes scratchy from the salty tears. She hated the vulnerability that would come with it. She hated it.

A week had passed and her father seemed to make the couch his favorite place in the house. There was trash laying all over the floor. Crumpled paper cups and plates laid across the stained carpet. Strange, brown bottles laid beside him on the couch and she could vaguely remember her mother saying something about her intolerance for the stuff in her house. 

Her nose wrinkled as she caught a foul smell that was no doubt her father. Her chubby hands gripped her shirt anxiously as she shuffled forward. Her father looked blankly towards the buzzing TV screen that echoed a faint static noise.

“Dad..?” She whispered. For a moment, she thought her father hadn’t heard her. He just continued to stare toward his show with a blank look across his face. Before she could repeat herself, the huge lizard turned towards her, a stoic expression present on his face. 

Susie fidgeted, biting her lip. A habit that she had picked up when she felt anxious or embarrassed. “Can...” She hesitated before clenching her fist at her side. “Can we go to the park?”

The park was one of Susie's favorite things to do with her family. Her mother would push her on the swings and her father would laugh and joke about her jumping off the swing like a “badass”. This only caused her mother to curse out her father, yelling at him not to encourage Susie to do anything dangerous, after which her father would fondly laugh in response. It had been days since they’d last left the house and Susie was starting to feel claustrophobic. She wanted to go out and stretch her limbs. Hopefully, that would distract her from the dreadful loss of her mother, at least for a little while.

She waited for a few moments, fidgeting in place as she awaited her father's response. Finally, after what felt like a century he spoke. “No,” he rasped, his throat sounding like rough sandpaper. “Not today, Susie.” 

She was immediately filled with disappointment, and she flinched. She looked up to question him but was only faced with him staring back at the television screen. That same, blank look was strained onto his face, and Susie could only find herself sulking back into her unclean room, ignoring the growing pile of untouched homework as she made quick with burying herself underneath her bed covers and trying to hide from the world.  
\-----  
A third week has passed by and her father had started to leave the house. Susie didn’t know where exactly, but she knew it wasn’t work. His work usually left him smelling strongly of pine needles and sawdust. Now, he smelt like that foul scented drink that he consumed on a daily basis. Susie kept into the kitchen before opening the fridge. All there was inside was a molded carrot and an egg. She closed the fridge with a grimace, clutching her stomach as it growled loudly.

With her father not going to work, he wasn’t making money. Without money, he wasn’t buying groceries. She couldn’t even afford the school lunches! It had been her mother who used to pack a lunch for her before sending her off to school each morning.

With a grimace, she headed off to school. It wasn’t long until she entered the building that she realized that she was early. Most kids were still getting ready at this time or playing outside with their friends. She grumbled, adjusting her bag over her shoulder before marching down the hall and towards her 6th-grade classroom who was taught by Alphys. The teacher had insisted on being called by her first name, which was slightly odd, but she didn’t put much thought into it.  
As she entered the classroom, she quickly made her way to her desk at the back of the class. She didn’t want to be seen or heard in the classroom. So, the seat was perfect.

Susie reached into her bag, pulling up a crumpled piece of paper with a half-finished homework assignment that was originally due last week. Alphys insisted that she didn’t have to do any homework from...that week. Although, Susie felt like she owed the teacher at least one homework assignment. After all, she didn’t plan on doing the others.

She approached Alphys desk, tossing the crumpled paper onto the desk. Before she could turn to leave, she spotted a white stick from the corner of her eye. She reached out, gripping the powdery stick between her fingers. It was chalk. Alphys used it to write on the chalkboard and using it to give out assignments and instructions to her students. Susie was brought back into reality by the familiar gurgling of her stomach. She gripped her shirt, sighing as she tried to distract herself from the hunger pains. Damn, it was starting to get hard to ignore. Her hands trembled and her grip tightened on the chalky substance, smearing white power onto her fingers. Suddenly, the stick of chalk was looking very appetizing. Before she could think, she lifted the stick to her mouth, biting down with an awkward crunch.

Susie wanted to gag. The taste was awful and it made her throat tighten and mouth dry. She forced herself to swallow, coughing slightly as her mouth was left dry and hoarse. Although, her stomach finally seemed to stop protesting, happy to receive something to fill the void. Susie jumped back when the classroom door swung open and her teacher waddled in, huffing as they struggled to haul in a suitcase. Why a teacher needed a suitcase, she had no clue.

“O-Oh!” Alphys nearly stumbled over her own feet in shock when she spotted the teenager standing to the side of the teacher's desk. “Susie? Y-your early,” She stuttered, setting down the suitcase that slumped over and leaned against the wall. 

“Do you need anything?”

Susie felt embarrassed, an awkward flush coating her face and she lowered her gaze, letting her growing bangs cover her startled features. The last thing she wanted was for Alphys to wonder what she was doing snooping around her desk. So, she quickly snatched up the crumbled paper she had thrown onto the desk earlier, sneering. “I was just turning this in.” She huffed. 

Hopefully, Alphys wouldn’t notice her straining to speak through the chalk dust. Alphys shuffled awkwardly, her chubby arms reaching out to pluck the crumpled paper from her hands and give it a look over. She looked up at Susie with that familiar look that she had grown a distaste towards. Pity. She didn’t need people to feel sorry for her and not doing shit to help, it pissed her off.

“Susie, I know… You’ve been mourning,” Alphys stuttered quietly, setting the paper on her desk among the other ungraded papers. “So, I’ll give you credit for this, okay?” Alphys grinned shyly. “Cause I’m the cool teacher, I-Its okay.”

Susie clenched her fist and she avoided her gaze. What did she know? She couldn’t possibly understand what she was going through. Susie only looked away, grunting before pushing past Alphys and retrieving her bag. 

“...I was just leaving,” She stated before strutting past the fumbling teacher who watched her leave with a nervous and confused expression. “O-oh, I’ll see you, d-during class, then..!” Susie walked out of the classroom, listening to the door click shut behind her she unpocketed a small box of chalk she had managed to swipe from Alphys desk. She selected a single stick, inspecting it before popping it into her mouth with a grimace. It was an acquired taste.  
\---  
As the years gone by, now in her freshman year, she had grown more and more bitter. She would snap and snarl at those who threatened to get close, threaten kids for their lunches and terrorize the smaller and frailer kids. Susie rather enjoyed her new lifestyle. No one was brave enough to approach her and try to break away all those barriers that she had built up. She never wanted to feel vulnerable again. It was a terrible feeling that she never wanted to experience.

She didn’t plan on coming to class that day. In fact, she had tried to avoid it. She was in an ally, cradling a cigarette that she had swiped from her fathers ‘not so secret’ stash of booze and cigars when the towns infamous cop, undyne had caught her. Susie was tempted to run, making the warrior chase her down the road but she wasn’t in much of a mood to get arrested for resisting a cop. So, she let Undyne drag her to school, lecturing her about how disgusting and unhealthy smoking was while also ranting about how skipping school was bad. Blah, Blah. Stupid nonsense that she could hardly bring herself to care about. She was mostly pissed that she had to waste a perfectly good cigarette. 

She slammed open the door, emitting a loud, heart-piercing echo across the entire room. The room quieted, and she could practically feel everyone's eyes bore into her as if deer froze in headlights.

“...Am I late?”

Alphys immediately shook her head, stuttering over her words before gesturing towards the only human in the room who was standing beside that one girl's desk with a never changing frown upon their face.

“...You’re with Kris!”

Susie flinched ever so slightly, narrowing her eyes behind her overgrown bangs. She was paired with the freak? She sat behind them, which was fine most of the time. She would flick crumbled paper at the back of their head, snickering when they would flinch at the contact. They never spoke, besides slight jerks of their head. Once, Susie had leaned over and tapped the human on the shoulder. “Hey, freak,” She had uttered. “Give me a pencil, why don’t you.” Kris had turned towards her, just...staring. Susie had felt incredibly creeped out. An unknown feeling of uncertainty had settled itself in her stomach and she made a mental note to keep away from the weirdo ever since then. 

From then on, it was a blur. She was sent off to find chalk, the human having followed. She nearly tore off Kris's face when they spotted her consuming her breakfast. Chalk. She had grown quite fond of the taste, even chewing it when her stomach wasn't complaining. She considered it more as a habit, but she couldn't deny that she enjoyed consuming the chalky substance. She and Kris ended up falling into a weird new world referred to as 'Deltarune.' From there, they had met Ralsei. A prince from the dark, as they claimed. Susie felt annoyed by this chump claiming them as 'Legendary heroes'. Her, a hero? As if! She split apart from the team, waving them away with a smirk. If they wanted to play games, then by god let them. She was more concerned with getting out and back to the surface.

She had ran through the woods, crushing any enemy that stood in her path easily with a hefty swing of her battle axe. Enemies would cry in fear when she approached, fleeing after seeing their comrades fall to her blade. She felt a rush of satisfaction at them seeing how powerful and fearsome she was, a welcoming feeling. She threaded along a path, perking when a surgery, warm scent caught her attention.

Was that...cake?

Her empty stomach leaped in excitement, humming at the thought of warm cake. As she approached, a tall yellow monster was hunched over, snoring loudly without a care. Behind him was a large, white and pink cake that smelled absolutely enticing. Without a single thought, she dug her clawed hands into the cake and greedily begun scarfing it down in large bites. Her eyes watered at how delicious it was. When was the last time she had something that tasted this good?

Her late mother came into mind. She could remember on Sundays her mother would bake a tray of double-chocolate chip cookies with a glass of ice cold milk. The warmth of the cookie reminded Susie of her mother’s gentle, kind nature and how happy they had all been before everything went to shit.

Susie flinched, the tears in her eyes being washed away as water was squirted over her. The chef, shouted at her in terror, begging for her to go away. Susie hissed, baring her dangerous fangs before taking off down the forest where she would later meet up with Kris and Ralsei again.

\----

Then, she met Lancer. Susie thought the kid was annoying as all hell. His laugh was like nails on a chalkboard and his very presence just begged for Susie to chuck an axe into his face. Finally, after hearing the kid’s annoying ‘evil’ laugh she snapped. She sneered, storming over and gripping Lancer by his shirt and lifting him off the ground, giving him a good look at her dagger-like teeth. She soon felt herself getting really into her act and she let out a blood-curdling laugh, rearing her head back as she did so. 

“Oooooh,” She halted, looking back down at the kid who had ceased their struggling. “I get it!” They squealed. “Thank you, purple girl, for teaching me to be scary!” Susie let out a strangled yelp as Lancer leaped out of her grip, landing on the ground as gracefully as a cat before striking a pose.

“See you, clowns, later!” She watched numbly as the child turned, mocking her laughter and a terrible fashion. Yet, Susie could help but feel...pride? She shrugged it off, hesitantly returning to Ralsei and Kris.

At least it was an improvement.

\-----

She was fighting King Checker. She couldn’t understand what the hell Kris and Ralsei were doing. Why were they bowing to this thing like an idiot? It was humiliating! When Ralsei asked her to join, she sneered. Her, looking like she was afraid of this thing? Never!

The battle continued until the golden crown slipped off the Checkers head, clanging onto the tile floors with a distant thud. The checker piece shrunk in size before rolling away much to cheerfully for something that was just defeated. Susie panted, lifting her axe over her shoulder. 

“We..did it?” She gasped, grinning awkwardly. She knew that bowing to that think was idiotic! “I am pretty great, aren't I?” Susie had half expected the two losers to nod and continue along, but Ralsei caught her off guard.

“Susie, Actually….you didn’t help at all.” Susie froze, looking at the tunic covered monster in disbelief. Was he for real? It was her that kept that thing at bay! Her grip tightened on her axe, and she felt a dark sense of betrayal. Didn’t they even appreciate that she was even sticking with them? She could have left their sorry asses behind! Why should she even bother with ungrateful shits who only cared about their own selfish agendas? With a loud declaration and a wave of her hand, she made the transition to a bad guy.

The kid was excited, practically dragging her around and showing her all his favorite places to catch worms or stash his salsa which she eagerly helped herself too- seeing as she only had chalk that morning and would most likely not be able to find something good to eat when she returned to the surface.

Susie leaned back against the lawn chair, raking a clawed hand through her hair. “Damn,” She grunted. “I could really use a cigarette right about now.”

“Whats a cigarette?” Susie, startled looked over toward Lancer who stared at them with a confused smile. Susie felt a rush of panic and without thinking tried to come up with a quick lie.

“It's uh…” She then laughed. “Its a type of drink! Yes, yeah. Haha, just silly lightener names.” Lancer seemed to buy the lie, wiggling down in their seat as stressed soldiers fanned him.

“I want to try it,” He giggled. “It sounds rad!” Susie made a mental note to not let that happen.

\-----

Susie found her mental barriers breaking down and it terrified her. As she gave Lancer the dark candy, he looked up at her like she was one of the best things he had ever seen and it broke her. She wasn’t. Lancer shouldn’t look up to a person like her, they deserved so much better than that. She could feel Kris and Ralsei’s burning gazes and it made her fidgeted and glare at them with the corner of her eye. They didn’t need to be judging her or her actions. She was just trying to make Lancer happy, after all.

“So,” She commented after Lancer finished and they continued back down the road. “How’d it taste?” 

Lancer brightened. “Like friendship!” Susie blinked, adjusting the axe that rested on her shoulder. “What does...uh, that taste like?” Lancer skipped on his feet, licking his lips with a wide Cheshire grin. “Like my teeth are disintegrating!” He squealed happily like it was no big deal. 

Susie felt her chest tighten with emotion and she snorted, forcing a grin. “That’s… hah, not good actually.” She stuttered. “Well, thank you for sharing!! You're a good friend!” She could hear Ralsei’s soft chuckle and she tried to ignore her own embarrassment. She didn’t want them to see this part of her.

Vulnerable.

“Well, Uh…” She hesitated before letting out a soft grin. “You too, I guess.”

After a few moments of silent, walking Lancers soft tone caught her attention and she looked up to listen. “Just walking along you guys feels nice…Like I’m doing something important.” Before Susie could speak, Ralsei spoke up.

“That’s because you're alongside the lighteners, Lancer!” He smiled. “Our purpose- Darkeners purpose- is to assist them. It’s the only way we can truly feel fulfilled.” 

Susie felt incredibly uncomfortable, and she flinched. That...just sounded so wrong. She glanced over at Lancer, who seemed nervous and she felt a bubble of dread fill her emotions. Was...there entire friendship built around a desire to fulfill her wishes? Her hands shook and she looked at her feet, She didn’t want that. She wanted to be seen as equals- not as above or below them.

“Hey,” She snapped- a little too quickly for her liking. “Let’s uh, let’s Ditch the whole purpose talk,” She wanted to reassure him that he was not below her in any way. A part of her was upset at Ralsei for mentioning such a disturbing thing to this child, but she was more concerned with pushing this far past the young child's mind.

“You’re probably just glad you ate some weird berry.” Lancer instantly agreed, and Susie relaxed slightly.

“I mean, look, I’m not from here and hanging here, I feel kind…Uh, y’know.” 

Ralsei smiled. “Happy?” 

Susie instantly bristled, rolling her eyes. “Pshh, Nah.”  
They continued down the path before Susie looked off to the side.

“Maybe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!


End file.
